MOTD, Scottish Independence, Cigars and Coffee

Words by Andrew Paszkowski

I bet you’re all wondering how I’m going to stitch these subjects together.  Well here goes…
I very occasionally write an article for this exciting and informative website, featuring the latest whiz-bang events connected with cigars and rum.  What could be more interesting?!?

Well, perhaps a couple of things come close.  I’m a football fan.  I won’t reveal who I support, suffice it to say, you should feel sorry and extend every sympathy towards me as you read this short article.

I’ve been glued to the television as the BBC has celebrated half a century of Match of the Day, my favourite and essential Saturday evening watching.  Going down memory lane, it has been fantastic to see George “El Beatle” Best, Bobby “Combover” Charlton and “Tear drop” Gazz all perform their magic. I also enjoyed being reminded of the antics of Alan “That’s a decent ball into the box” Hansen blowing up Jimmy Hill in the studio in one memorable episode, and the other notable match commentators from Barry Davies to the greatest of the all, and I bow my head in reverence as I write this, John Motty Motson.

I missed however my favourite MOTD gag which goes – “How many “D’s” are there in Match of the Day?” Answer: 104 – “de-de-de-de dedede-de-de de-de…”

Which brings me on to smoking.  I hate cigarette smoke and was very pleased when the law was passed forbidding smoking in any public place.  Well almost any: apparently the two exemptions written into the legislation were nuclear submarines and, listen to this, The Houses of Parliament!  I wonder whether given the distain Scots are currently expressing towards Westminster, it is the reason they wanted the submarines in Faslane’s pens to leave – it should be a no smoking area – eh?

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The law, which I sort of approve of when applied to others, cramps my own style: for me MOTD always went with lighting up a magnificent Cuban Cigar.  As long as my team wasn’t winning, and I wasn’t puffing profusely at my cigar, it would usually pleasantly last the whole programme. Bliss but alas no more – smoking a cigar whilst watching the footie, just isn’t possible any more.  And the world is truly against me.  Lea & Sandeman, the very best wine merchant in London and the only one I buy my booze from, have stopped stocking Bruichladdich’s The Laddie Sixteen Year Old, a viscous, silky smooth, stylish, slick and flawless malt.  Wake up L&S – I need my dram back!

Oh woe is me. All I’m left with as I watch my team being slaughtered yet again, is a cup of cocoa. Blah! Cocoa is a too sweet and produces flatulence which is certainly worse than the pleasant aroma of a decent robusto.  But wait, things are looking up!  That clever chap Henry Wilson, from has come to the rescue.  He sent me a packet of decaffeinated coffee. Now wait, before you turn your noses up, this coffee is something else. It comes from the Decadent Coffee Co. ( who use the Swiss Water Process (whatever that means?!) to gently extract the nasty caffeine leaving all the natural flavours and punch in the coffee.  I tried their Ethiopia Sidamo blend which comes from the fertile highlands south of Lake Awasa, Ethiopia, the birthplace of coffee no less.  The result, an espresso with a beautiful aroma, with honeysuckle and gentle citrus undertones.  And win or lose, I sleep like a baby afterwards.

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So perhaps we’ll be able to find heaven again, when our nuclear submarines are sent south of the border (with a few cases of The Laddie on board) and we can enjoy the perfect combination: a wee dram, a big Cuban and an espresso whilst watching Match of the Day.